Full Plate, Attitudes, and A Safe Place

I have a lot on my plate right now, no need for me to list the many reasons why I say that just take it for face value, I do. I came across an article yesterday on Pinterest that was titled, “The Reason Why Children Are 800% Worse When Their Mothers Are Around” and was instantly drawn to click on the link for more. Why? I’m not really sure other than the fact I’m still trying to get this whole parenting thing down and I get frustrated when I feel like I’m failing. Which happens more so than you’d probably believe.

When I read through this article, my heart sank. According to the author, the reason children are worse when their mother is around was a simple solution. It was because us mothers, are our child’s safe place. Well dang, why didn’t I think of that? So simple if you really think about it and it makes so much sense. However, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to remember that in the trying times. Which for me, happened to be just this morning. Eh, starting a little over an hour ago.

You see, my daughter is 10 and although she’s always been particular about her clothes, this year it has thankfully been a tad easier. Up until this morning. The weather is forecasted to be crisper today than it has been and as a parent, I wanted her to be dressed for the weather. I simply asked her to wear her brand new, Justice brand, jeans. I know right, how dare I. My headstrong 10 year old daughter got so much attitude, I probably could’ve bottled it up and sold some. She explained how she’d be so hot, her legs were itchy, oh’ and the fact that they are tight on her knee when she sits down. Um, okay. You’re still wearing them. I have attempted, with a few times succeeding and many times failing, to pick my battles when it comes to her and clothing. Today was one of those days I felt that jeans would be best. I didn’t care if she wore a short sleeve shirt, a long sleeve shirt, a sweater, it didn’t matter. As long as her legs were covered up with the pair of blue jeans.

She gets dressed just a huffin’ and a puffin’, mumbling nasty things towards me under her breathe. She didn’t mean what she was saying because when I’d ask her to speak up or repeat herself, she wouldn’t. She was ill. I was ill. We were taking our own frustrations out on each other. You see, what I didn’t tell you before I rambled on about our jean ordeal was that she has a lot on her mind as well. She has a science vocabulary test today that she doesn’t feel so confident about. On top of the way she was feeling, I was frustrated at the time thinking of my to do list for the day and the fact I had spent all morning creating her practice tests (like we’ve done for her other science vocabulary tests) while she was giving me attitude and being disrespectful. That’s just a recipe for disaster. We both said some things that we shouldn’t have and we both left each other this morning with a not so happy mood and then it hit me. That article.

It literally took all I had not to crumble to my knees and just weep. I immediately felt terrible for not recognizing the signs in the moment and allowing myself to feed into it instead of comforting her. I should’ve just sat down and prayed with her, I should’ve acknowledged her feelings and said some encouraging words to lift her, I should’ve.. I can go on all day now. However, I didn’t. I sat down and listened to ‘In Over My Head’ by Jenn Johnson. I’ll post it below and if you haven’t listened to this song, it’s a good one. It is my go-to right now and much of the time it’s on repeat.

The point of this post is acknowledging that I didn’t handle things the best way I could’ve this morning. I can’t get that back, I can’t erase time and do it over, I just have to learn and move on from it. As a mother, at a time when she was desperately seeking comfort and reassurance regarding her insecurities today, I showed anger and frustration. Lord, please forgive me. It’s okay moms, if you’ve done this too. We aren’t perfect but we are fully equipped to do the job and responsibilities that the Lord has placed on us as mothers. We have been given the gift and blessing of raising one of God’s children and for that sweet reminder, I smile. I am ending with this word of encouragement for you moms out there who can relate to what I went through this morning. I know today won’t be the last time, and I know there is no quick fix for handling these recipe for disaster moments, but I know there is hope. It takes a village and together, we can remind each other that we are human, we do make mistakes, but we are still loved. Our precious children are humans and make mistakes, but we still love them. The next time our children are acting out, I pray that we can be patient enough to realize that maybe they are just coming to their safe place and we can handle the situation in a positive and encouraging way.

Lord, please grant me patience to be able to think before I speak. Grant me the wisdom to know when my child is using me as a safe place and the ability to handle the situation with love and kindness. Lord, forgive me for not always showing love and kindness in moments like these, fill me with your spirit. Please Lord, give me the right words at the right time with the right attitude so that my child will see you in me Lord. Especially in times where my actions would’ve seemed otherwise. Father I ask that you guide me as a parent and I just thank you for trusting in me to raise your precious child. In your name I pray, Amen!

Resources mentioned in the post:

The Reason Why Children Are 800% Worse When Their Mothers Are Around

In Over My Head – Jenn Johnson